Wednesday, June 29, 2011

You don't need me

In 2007, I went and saw Wayne Liquorman when he spoke in Frederick, MD. It was my first encounter with what I, at the time, considered to be an "enlightened human being". When I entered the hall where he was speaking, there was a strange charge in the air. He came out, in front of everyone, and folded his hands and bowed. Then he sat down and silently made eye contact with each person in the audience for a long time. When it was my turn, I felt extremely anxious, like I wanted to shit myself. After he had gone around the entire room in this manner, he spoke for awhile then had a question and answer session. Luckily, the main thing I came away from this experience with was the deep down realization that I didn't need him or ANYONE to be complete. How is the worship of another person or a seeing of them as "better" or "purer" than oneself going to make one a healthy, independent human being?

Recently, I've been reading a book about UG Krishnamurti called "Goner". It was written by a person who was with him during the last years of his life. It depicts UG as a coarse man who was verbally and physically abusive. I would not subject myself to be around someone like that. He would often tell his "followers" that it was all pointless and that he wasn't a religious or holy man but they still venerated him. Maybe there was a special energy in his presence, I don't know. Maybe his words and actions didn't reflect his true inner sweetness but why do we look to anyone else for answers, even someone who tells us not to look to others for truth? I don't need any of them. None will bring us closer to truth/God. Truth is in this moment, wherever we are, whatever we're doing. It is life. It is the aware presence that gives expression to all things. We trick ourselves when we believe we need a guru, hero or God to experience it. THIS IS IT.

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